I did something these last ten months that I had promised myself I'd never do. To my small defense it's a mine field out here and it's really quite the challenge to not get blown up by it. I'd always been a spectator of sorts of the "busy mom" phenomenon, but I had not been sucked into its vortex...yet.
In Colorado where I had started homeschooling and the sub-culture for the homeschooler was pretty chillaxed (although from what I hear the busyness buzz is beginning to ramp up there now and here's what I have to say about that, "Run Forrest, run!"). It's not like that for me now.
What happened?! I moved that's what! I was living in the land of milk and honey (and now pot, Oh vey!) and I was dropped into the land of "anything you can do, I can do better;" and as much as you may think (as you roll your eyes) "Whatever! Just ignore it," you move here and let's see how quickly you fall onto one of these mines. Whether it be academia, music, arts, sports, or any other interest of your choice, the competition is fierce here. I don't have a "competitive drive" in me, but being around people that will run you over with a smile puts even the mousiest personality on the defense and eventually on the offense. I'm not interested in winning the "How does she do it - Martyr Mommy Award;" however, it's also not in my genetic make-up to be a minion. I've tried but I fail...in epic proportions...and I'm okay with that.
It appears that we live in times where regardless of the activity of your choosing, you will have to worship at the altar of said activity, especially if you want to secure any kind of position / title for your child. How do I know this? First, I highly suspected it, and second, a person actually said it to me. I was a bit taken back yet, I appreciated their brutal honesty. It has been a crazy past two months and I kept pondering if I should just go with the flow and do all things without complaining, blah, blah, blah. I'm pretty sure that's the verse they use to keep the chain gang working. In the meanwhile, God was making these things clear for me, but I was too busy living vicariously through my children! I had already taken the "mommy guilt," pill so instead I kept asking, "Are you sure about that God?" "Can you run that by me again, I'm not sure I heard you" and then this happened.
Prior to this, I had been running around like a crazed minion (you know, the purple ones) for the past 10 months although more so these last two months. Between dance and then theater, I've barely managed to squeeze in academics. While it has been fun to see the fruit of our labor, I can't help but think that no activity should be this time consuming. This last weekend we had our state homeschool conference and I just couldn't wait, I love books and I love running into the moms, vendors, the workshops etc. Yes, that is enjoyable for me. I managed to go two days and still make it to theater rehearsals. Saturday morning I am drained so I sleep, GASP!! I wake up and enjoy a good cup of coffee and a peaceful conversation with my family and I planned to eventually stroll my way to rehearsal.
Well, that was my intention until I got a call asking me where was I? My leisurely morning turned into a "hurry up and get here!" So I did. When I arrived this person was brutally honest with me (more like scaring me into submission) by telling me that I could not "do that" during tech week. I'm thinking what did I do? Saturday was the day we move in all the sets, etc. and while there is some rehearsals going on it's really a backstage kind of day. Hello! A lead character and a couple other main cast members were missing. My kid has one song, chill people. Besides I was pretty sure my "conflict sheet" mentioned that this weekend my availability would be limited. Nevertheless, this person said what I suspected to be true and now the secret was out, "You can't do that here. Directors take notice and if you're late or not here, they won't give your child good roles in future productions. Your child has a lot of potential, so don't do that." Let that sink for a minute...
That statement alone says a lot. Not to take away from CYT and its productions, because I do believe they are top quality. I am really proud to be a part of this production that we are currently in. With that said, it completely undermines the actors to not only say what was said, but for that to be the unspoken rule. Basically, another kid could be a better fit for a role, but unless your parent worships at the altar of CYT, well, good luck with getting a lead role kid; but we'll take your parents money! That was just a bit too much for me to hear after all the money and time that I've spent in the last ten months at all things CYT / DITL.
It spoke volumes that taking a morning to have breakfast with my family was "frowned upon in this establishment!" (think eTrade baby) WOW! This person was being a friend by telling me, "you need to behave and tow the line if you want your kid to have a secure and happy CYT experience." I don't fault her, I am not even mad at her. I'm thankful for the truth pill that I suspected was prevalent, but I preferred to live in denial about. Here I thought my children will be seen for their actual potential, not their mother's indentured servitude. I may be brown people, but slavery has been abolished, just in case anyone missed that, haha! I don't mind "playing the game" to an extent, but when the game involves worshiping at the altar of anything or anyone but my God, then the answer is a definitive, NO! I couldn't help but think the folks at CYT have lost their religion. They are even making us work on Sunday!! Did they forget that today is the Sabbath. Even Chick Fil-A and Hobby Lobby are closed!! Sadly, it's like that every where and being in a "Christian" organization is no escape from the "dog eat dog" world that we live in.
What's a parent to do?! Can you see it?! Can you feel it?! That pressure to conform, to just go along and "do it for the children." What in the world?! Then guess what? It appears I'm a bad mom. I will not spend the few years that I have left with my children being their taxi to a plethora of activities. Nope, this mama is going to go buy an RV and go camping. Don't laugh! Yes, it is true. All this hype and crazy activity-driven culture has driven me to want to go camping! But I'm doing it in style. I must have running water and electricity...just sayin' I want to make memories with my children. I don't want to be a spectator of their childhood. Where can I get one of those bee handler suits? I need bug protection, haha!!
As I was writing this blog, I realized in just 11 years of life, my oldest has seen more and done more than I ever did by the time I was 25 yrs old, and to what end?! My mother worked two and three jobs to provide 1/4 of what my child has experienced in just a decade and we had a great relationship sans a constant flow of activities. It's a challenge to develop and nurture a relationship when we are at activities five days a week. My priority in my children's lives is for them to know God and for them to be family-focused. The cat's in the cradle and at the rate we're going they will turn out just like me and be more focused on activities vs relationships. We need to put our money where our mouth is. We speak that relationships are important, yet in these last ten months my girls have spent more time away from us than with us, it's time to hit the reset button; no more martyr mommy.
In Colorado where I had started homeschooling and the sub-culture for the homeschooler was pretty chillaxed (although from what I hear the busyness buzz is beginning to ramp up there now and here's what I have to say about that, "Run Forrest, run!"). It's not like that for me now.
What happened?! I moved that's what! I was living in the land of milk and honey (and now pot, Oh vey!) and I was dropped into the land of "anything you can do, I can do better;" and as much as you may think (as you roll your eyes) "Whatever! Just ignore it," you move here and let's see how quickly you fall onto one of these mines. Whether it be academia, music, arts, sports, or any other interest of your choice, the competition is fierce here. I don't have a "competitive drive" in me, but being around people that will run you over with a smile puts even the mousiest personality on the defense and eventually on the offense. I'm not interested in winning the "How does she do it - Martyr Mommy Award;" however, it's also not in my genetic make-up to be a minion. I've tried but I fail...in epic proportions...and I'm okay with that.
It appears that we live in times where regardless of the activity of your choosing, you will have to worship at the altar of said activity, especially if you want to secure any kind of position / title for your child. How do I know this? First, I highly suspected it, and second, a person actually said it to me. I was a bit taken back yet, I appreciated their brutal honesty. It has been a crazy past two months and I kept pondering if I should just go with the flow and do all things without complaining, blah, blah, blah. I'm pretty sure that's the verse they use to keep the chain gang working. In the meanwhile, God was making these things clear for me, but I was too busy living vicariously through my children! I had already taken the "mommy guilt," pill so instead I kept asking, "Are you sure about that God?" "Can you run that by me again, I'm not sure I heard you" and then this happened.
Well, that was my intention until I got a call asking me where was I? My leisurely morning turned into a "hurry up and get here!" So I did. When I arrived this person was brutally honest with me (more like scaring me into submission) by telling me that I could not "do that" during tech week. I'm thinking what did I do? Saturday was the day we move in all the sets, etc. and while there is some rehearsals going on it's really a backstage kind of day. Hello! A lead character and a couple other main cast members were missing. My kid has one song, chill people. Besides I was pretty sure my "conflict sheet" mentioned that this weekend my availability would be limited. Nevertheless, this person said what I suspected to be true and now the secret was out, "You can't do that here. Directors take notice and if you're late or not here, they won't give your child good roles in future productions. Your child has a lot of potential, so don't do that." Let that sink for a minute...
That statement alone says a lot. Not to take away from CYT and its productions, because I do believe they are top quality. I am really proud to be a part of this production that we are currently in. With that said, it completely undermines the actors to not only say what was said, but for that to be the unspoken rule. Basically, another kid could be a better fit for a role, but unless your parent worships at the altar of CYT, well, good luck with getting a lead role kid; but we'll take your parents money! That was just a bit too much for me to hear after all the money and time that I've spent in the last ten months at all things CYT / DITL.
It spoke volumes that taking a morning to have breakfast with my family was "frowned upon in this establishment!" (think eTrade baby) WOW! This person was being a friend by telling me, "you need to behave and tow the line if you want your kid to have a secure and happy CYT experience." I don't fault her, I am not even mad at her. I'm thankful for the truth pill that I suspected was prevalent, but I preferred to live in denial about. Here I thought my children will be seen for their actual potential, not their mother's indentured servitude. I may be brown people, but slavery has been abolished, just in case anyone missed that, haha! I don't mind "playing the game" to an extent, but when the game involves worshiping at the altar of anything or anyone but my God, then the answer is a definitive, NO! I couldn't help but think the folks at CYT have lost their religion. They are even making us work on Sunday!! Did they forget that today is the Sabbath. Even Chick Fil-A and Hobby Lobby are closed!! Sadly, it's like that every where and being in a "Christian" organization is no escape from the "dog eat dog" world that we live in.
What's a parent to do?! Can you see it?! Can you feel it?! That pressure to conform, to just go along and "do it for the children." What in the world?! Then guess what? It appears I'm a bad mom. I will not spend the few years that I have left with my children being their taxi to a plethora of activities. Nope, this mama is going to go buy an RV and go camping. Don't laugh! Yes, it is true. All this hype and crazy activity-driven culture has driven me to want to go camping! But I'm doing it in style. I must have running water and electricity...just sayin' I want to make memories with my children. I don't want to be a spectator of their childhood. Where can I get one of those bee handler suits? I need bug protection, haha!!
As I was writing this blog, I realized in just 11 years of life, my oldest has seen more and done more than I ever did by the time I was 25 yrs old, and to what end?! My mother worked two and three jobs to provide 1/4 of what my child has experienced in just a decade and we had a great relationship sans a constant flow of activities. It's a challenge to develop and nurture a relationship when we are at activities five days a week. My priority in my children's lives is for them to know God and for them to be family-focused. The cat's in the cradle and at the rate we're going they will turn out just like me and be more focused on activities vs relationships. We need to put our money where our mouth is. We speak that relationships are important, yet in these last ten months my girls have spent more time away from us than with us, it's time to hit the reset button; no more martyr mommy.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.